Roy Tang

Someone on quora asked:

How do I become a kinder, selfless, generous, thoughtful person?

The fact that you recognize this as a fault is already a very good first step.

Being kinder, selfless, generous, thoughtful…these are all basically traits of empathy, which means being more attuned to the needs and feelings of other people instead of simply being absorbed in your own.

I imagine you could try one or more of the following:

• when in a conversation with someone, try to listen more to what the other person is saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak. Once the other person is done speaking, try to echo back what she is saying like “So if I understand this correctly, what you’re saying is …?” If after clarification it turns out that person has a problem, ask her what you can do to help
• after a nontrivial encounter with another person, try to take stock and ask yourself some questions: did the other person have a problem? Did I notice and acknowledge it and maybe offer some help? What seemed to be his/her state of mind?
• Try to study the body language of people you know. What do they look like when they are happy or sad or distressed or angry? Do they tend to stand or sit a particular way? Where do their arms go? Do they have any nervous tics?

Like any other skill, learning to be more empathic will take practice, so do not be disheartened if you find it difficult, just keep trying :D