Roy Tang

Someone on quora asked:

I always have a hard time talking to people I don’t know. I hate myself because of this and it’s really hard to accept who I am. How can I improve my people skills?

Whenever I see a question like “How can I improve [skill]”, there is almost always one obvious answer: practice. Improvement only comes with practice. You can read about it, think about it, watch youtube videos, but unless you practice you won’t be improving much.

For talking to people, start small and work your way up:

• Smile at strangers you interact with. Smile at the lovely couple walking down the street. Smile at the little kids you give the ball back to.
• Greet strangers as often as you can. Greet the cashier at the grocery or the bus driver during your commute. Say something short and simple “Hey, how’s your day going?”
• When you see a stranger carrying or wearing something you find of interest, strike up a conversation about it. “Hey, I love that scarf, where’d you get it?”, “How are you finding that book? I read it last month and found it great!
• And so on

At first you will find it difficult. You might even choke on what you wanted to say or say something completely inappropriate and run away. That’s fine. Failing and trying again is what practice it. Don’t worry so much about how people will react. If it’s someone you might see again (say, the cashier at the grocery or the bus driver), it gives you something to talk about again next time “Hey, sorry if I was an idiot before. I’m trying to be better at talking to people” can lead to good conversations too.